Frozen Tears
by ShalilyQueen
Summary: Shagotte x Pantherlily Shalilyweek (2016) Day 6: Snowfall. Angst and tears headed you way. Death/Graveyard/Human AU


**Day 6: Snowfall**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Fairytail or its characters. Fairy tail belongs to Hiro Mashima**

 **AN: One night I just woke up and decided to do this tear-jerking one-shot, but I ended up crying throughout the whole time I was writing it. The feels are very real, I hope you guys like it. Betaed by jiyu-koya and** **Samantharoseheartfillia** **! You two are the best!**

 ** _Angst/Graveyard/ Human AU_**

 **Frozen Tears**

The night was calm with a serene silence. A silence that seemed to poise even a child to dance in the snow with the gently falling snowflakes. She gazed up at the gray sky, freckled with small noticeable specks of colorful stars. She closed her eyes letting the snow fall onto her face decorating her eyelashes with the white frozen liquid. She smiled, despite her mood, despite why she was here, strolling through a sparkling snow filled graveyard, metal crosses for grave markers. Her boots crunched beneath the snow with every step she took. She was in no hurry she wanted to savor this moment. Wendy had offered to watch her 2-year-old Charle for however long she needed, even it was overnight, she understood that she was going through a time of grief and for that Shagotte was forever grateful to her.

The woman pulled her thick scarf over her nose several time attempting to shield her face from the cold. She tried to dress the warmest she could, it was quite a walk to where she was going but she was determined, the cold wouldn't stop her. Even if her whole face burned with frostbite she wasn't leaving, not until she reached her destination. She clutched a bundle of Calla Lilies in her hand firmly, not daring to let go.

She walked a few more minutes, her feet aching, frozen, her jeans wet from the many inches of snow that had passed up the length or her boots, she blamed her short stature for that.

She finally stopped in front of a cross, all of them around it looked exactly like this one. Her legs weakened, she fell to the ground her knees sinking deep into the wet mass. She reached towards the ground with shaky hands digging little by little until she found an engraved stone. She bit hard on her lip, taking in a sharp breath as she read the words that were written.

* * *

 _Panther Lily Extalia_

 _764 -794_

 _An Honorable Soldier, Loving Husband, Trusting Friend, and Caring Father._

 _You will be forever missed._

 _RIP._

* * *

Shagotte squeezed her eyes shut trying her very hardest to stop her tears from falling. She slowly opened them, beginning to speak.

"Hello My Love," she choked, her voice still, meek as the night. She clenched her teeth wanting so desperately to still her quivering lip. "It's been a minute since I've seen you last, I truly apologize for that." She shifted her weight on the ground to where her legs were crossed, now in a more comfortable position. Her lips cold, ghostly-white, curved into a small smile.

"The night is quite beautiful, isn't it? You always loved nights like these, remember?" Only silence was her answer, the only noise heard was the calm breeze of the winter wind. Her eyes shut again squeezing tighter and finding it very much harder to keep her emotions in check.

"I-I made your favorite dessert last night…kiwi pie. I know how you would have enjoyed it. Charle very much did, She actually kept asking me for more." She breathed a fabricated laugh. "That seems to be one of her favorite words…" Shagotte felt hot tears fall down her cheeks as her eyes squeezed tighter. "Her first word was 'dada'" Her last word choked in a sob. Her breathing started to labor. as quiet sobs escaped her lips, She fisted her hand to her chest, doing her best to control herself from hyperventilating. "I-I-" Shagotte shook her head not able to hold back her tears. She opened her eyes releasing the river of tears from her glistening silver eyes. "I wish you could see her, Lily. She's grown so beautifully." Her shoulders shivered as her sobs began to take over.

"I-I remember when you found out I was pregnant with her. You-You were so happy." Hiccups left her lips as she took in sharp gasps of air. "We had been trying for such a long time. You really wanted a baby. We were both afraid we would never have children, but then I told you we were finally having a baby and you dropped to floor sobbing with such joy, I remember that day so clearly." Her voice started to go up octaves and pace faster. "And when you found out we were having a little girl you completely lost it. You couldn't contain yourself. You immediately named her Charle, that's the name you always wanted for her if we had a little a girl." Her words brittle into a broken cry. "A-and you wanted her to look like me. And she does. She looks exactly like me, white hair and all. But she has your eyes. Even though she looks like me, every time I look into her eyes all I see is you- Oh God I miss you." She hugged her quaking body, her cries increasing with every word she spoke.

"I miss you so much. You would have been an amazing father to her. She has your energy, you probably could control her better than I ever could. She keeps me awake at night, She keeps me busy a lot, and I-"

She brought her arm to her face rubbing her sleeve vigorously across her eyes smearing her face with the tears and wet snow. Soon it was all over her nose with even more on her cheeks. She huffed a deep breath seeing the air particles form in front of her.

"I've been through a hard time lately," her voice squeaked. "…Thinking of you, how our life could've been if you were still alive, how Charle's life would have been, with a magnificent father like you…I try to smile every day for her. To let her know that I'm ok - it's hard…it so so hard -" she took in a sharp intake of air. She shook her head balling her fists tightly. Her body shook violently, her grief hitting a boiling point. Everything, everything was gray, she didn't know how she could make it another day like this.

She was tired of pretending everything was okay. She unleashed every bit of tears she had bottled up, she held her sorrow in for too long she was too weak to hold it in anymore.

"Why did you have to leave me!?" she screamed. Her words came out faster, rushing to spill out of her mouth before they tore her heart apart.

"It's so hard trying to keep a smiling face on in front of our friends, in front of Charle, when I'm falling apart inside! Don't you understand how much I'm going through, how much my heart aches? I've waited for 2 years for you to come home to me. I'm angry, devastated, torn apart from the inside out." Her voice cracked, she coughed violently her throat sore, the merciless cold freezing her vocal cords. She lowered her head, her face burning red, her eyes puffy and bloodshot with tears.

"Lily," she whispered harshly, "You-you promised me you would come back, When you were called to war, you kissed me and Charle, who wasn't even born, saying that you would return home alive and in one piece."

Shagotte gritted her teeth, she pounded her fist into the snow with brutal force. "You lied to me!" she hissed, beginning to lose all control. She continued to pound her fists viciously into the ground, she felt no pain, her hands were numb to her. The only indication that they were bleeding was the red stain that seeped through the white wool material. She screamed to the top of her lungs, 3 months, since his death, of held in heartache and pain flooded from her eyes. " You lied to me, you lied to your own daughter, to everyone!" Her forceful cries reached no one but the empty air but she didn't care. Her screams didn't stop. "YOU'RE A LIAR! A BLOODY LIAR! AND I-I," Her body gave way as she finally laid on the ground curling into a ball by the gravestone hugging the flowers closely to her chest." I love you," she said in a silent whisper. "I love you so so much. I wish you were here. I miss your smile. I miss your warmth. I miss your everything, I just want you back in my arms…why…why did you have to go…?" She sniffed and coughed, her body not able to take any more of the stress. She laid in silence her eyes grew tired, her strength faded from her. She had no fight left. She couldn't defeat this sorrow she felt in her chest. Her head hurt, her body ached, her whole being was nothing but pain.

"My love." Her words came out soft, tender as the beautiful snowflakes diminishing from the heavens. "Lily, I will always love you, my handsome Panther." Her lips twitched into a smile.

She felt a sudden wave of warmth surround her body caressing her cold cheeks.

 _I love you too, my beautiful angel._

She felt his presence. His voice was so comforting, just like she remembered it. She could never forget a voice as wonderful as his. Her eyes drifted closed as she let sleep engulf her.

All she wanted right at this moment was to be near him, to dream of him and be happy once more. The sun will rise soon and she will awake with it. If there's one thing she knew he would've wanted, he would want her to live on, for him and their daughter. No matter how many times her tears would freeze over, the memory of his warmth will never fail in melting them away.

* * *

 _ **~ShalilyQueen**_


End file.
